Mktkder pretruynyk, Ukraine

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Remember the joke.
The doctor is cheating on my wife, but my horns don't grow.(//tractor-service.com)
Don't worry. This is a figurative expression.
Ah-ah-ah. I thought that I don't have enough calcium.

So, yesterday my wife gave me a set of men's perfume for the holiday.
Contains NEVEA Men's Shampoo with CALCIUM.