Shvmpin0ny sushenye, Ukraine

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The husband returns home, and the man is in bed with his wife. He grabs his ego by the hair,(//tractor-service.com)
pulls out from under the blanket. Tot breaks free, starts running around the table.
- If I had a gun, - shouts the angry husband, - I would shoot you!
If there was a knife - I would stab him, if there was a stick - I would smash his head with it!
- Monsieur, - asks the runaway, - and you spare me...