Pr0dvm p0mid0r (nek0nditsiya), Ukraine

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A man walks down the street. Suddenly he hears a thin alarming voice:
- Jump back quickly! He jumps back, and at the same moment right in front of him(//tractor-service.com)
a brick falls from the roof. He looks around:
- Who saved me?
- It's me, your guardian angel, I'm in your pocket. Человек вынимает из кармай
a gnome the size of a thimble and viciously squeezing the ego:
- Where the hell were you when I got married?